6 Steps to Prevent Relationship Weight Gain.
Synonymous weight gain in couples is a common phenomenon. There is a lot of literature that examine the longterm changes in romantic relationships that reveal that the longer you are in a relationship with someone, and whether or not you live with them, is associated with the amount of weight you could gain. There are consistent findings that the weight gain in women is greater than men! In married folks, research has shown an average weight gain of 6-8 lbs over a 2 year period.
Why does this happen?
My personal theory is that it can mostly be attributed to habitual changes. Once you’re in a relationship each person’s dynamic with food and activity changes. Whereas you might have been a bit more consistent with your dietary habits or physical activity levels prior, being in a new relationship inevitably throws your consistency off. Eating becomes central to how you’ll spend time with your partner – there might be more dining out than would normally occur, perhaps there’s more alcohol intake that goes along with that, and maybe your previously scheduled weekend morning runs turn into mornings lounging in bed followed by a greasy brunch. Over time, the relationship develops its own consistency in habits – there may be more sedentary behaviour that takes place “i.e. netflix and chill”, you might include some sweet or savoury snacks that start as a weekly indulgence, slowly becoming a nightly habit, and whether or not you’re hungry you’ll eat because your partner seems to be enjoying him or herself! The romantic partner may become an unintentional influencer in your weight gain. If you want to go another step further you take the next plunge and want to start a family – pregnancy results in weight gain that is difficult to shake off after, and the time and stress of child rearing don’t make it easy for you to resume physical activity or your meal planning.
Cues for how to stave off weight gain in new relationships:
1) Outline your health goals from the get go
One of the best things my husband and I did from the beginning of our relationship, was consistently discuss the aspects of our health that are important to us, and the goals we hope to achieve with it. This is a regular check-in with us! From the beginning we’ve always maintained that regular physical activity and healthy eating were important. We each commit to eating at least one meal that is a salad per day, and have at least 4 days of the week that we are physically active. It’s a nice way to feel accountable to someone else and to motivate each other.
2) Do not go plate for plate
Men naturally burn more calories than a women because they naturally have more muscle mass and require more fuel, even at rest. According to the Centre for Disease Control, the average woman and men’s heights are 5’4 and 5’9.5 – if you both have medium frames and are moderately active your partner will require about 40% more food than you each day to maintain a healthy weight. That means that going halvsies on every shared plate isn’t all that practical!
3) Be clear about what foods to have in the house, and snacking etiquette
If you’re living with your partner, it can be hard to eliminate cravings if they’re snacking in front of you or always offering it to you. You might not even had thought about it but once he brought that bowl of ice-cream into the living room you couldn’t help but think you might want some too. This is dangerous. Habitually taking pleasure from excess calories due to boredom, cravings, or wanting a distraction can be detrimental to weight control. Be clear to your partner about avoiding the introduction of tantalizing foods in the house, and mostly about having it around you if you’re not itching for it in the first place.
4) Eat differently together
Customize your plates – you can do this by making different meals together with similar ingredients. For instance, on taco nights my husband will have regular corn tortilla wraps while I make a taco salad or have lettuce wraps since he can afford the extra carbs. Alternatively, if one wants to eat and the other isn’t hungry then do just that together. Not everything has to be done in unison together.
5) Start the habit of revolving quality time around physical activity
Make physical activity a habit – to a point where it’s unusual if you’ve both been sedentary too long. It’s easier to continue to be active together when you build it into the foundation of your relationship rather than trying to make an outright lifestyle change to boost exercise together. My husband and I began taking up rock climbing when we began dating, which then evolved into regular weekend running, and weeknight tennis outings. We are now new members to a tennis club and are anticipating formal tennis lessons together this upcoming summer. I find being active with my husband a phenomenal way to spend time with him. And that’s not to say that we can’t make a date out of it – weekend runs can easily turn into a stroll through a fun part of town and a morning coffee, and tennis matches can turn into a super casual dinner on a patio if we aren’t up for cooking. We’ve trained ourselves to find it to be an unusual sensation if we’re sedentary for too long.
6) Celebrate each other
Make a point to continue to motivate your partner in their efforts towards good health. When a persons positively recognized for their work their natural response is to continue what they’re doing. I tell my husband he’s amazing for waking up at the wee hours of the early on the regular for his squash matches before work. In turn, he’s always commending me for never buying lunch at work and on my weekly stair climbs despite how much I hate them sometimes. Alternatively, you can just keep telling each other how attractive you find them. Other than wanting to feel good and stay free of cardiovascular diseases and such, there’s no better motivation than to want to keep that flame going strong.